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Punny jokes.

Started by The Skarzs, March 02, 2016, 12:00:26 AM

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Ashleg

Quote from: The Skarzs on October 25, 2017, 08:05:46 PM
Artists see things that aren't there.

I see Dr.Seuss riding a black flamingo every time I touch a paintbrush.

The Skarzs

You should probably go see a doctor about that. . .
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Ashleg

Whenever I see a doctor I impale myself with a fork.

The Skarzs

Whiteboards are remarkable.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Delthion

Dreams, dreams are untapped and writhing. How much more real are dreams than that paltry existence which we now call reality? How shall we ascend to that which humanity is destined? By mastering the dreamworld of course. That is how, my pupils, that is how.

The Skarzs

Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Wylder Treejumper

My belt broke, so I had to make a new one out of cardboard. What a waist of paper!

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

My son asked me what a plateau was. I told him it was a high form of flattery.

Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines.
"'Tis the business of small minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
-Thomas Paine

"Integrity and firmness is all I can promise; these, be the voyage long or short, shall never forsake me although I may be deserted by all men."
-George Washington

Courage: Not only the willingness to die manfully, but also the determination to live decently.

HeadInAnotherGalaxy

Zome o' ze Piano'z ztringz broke again today. Ah vill 'ave tae make a zeveral notez on it na'.
NARDOLE; You are completely out of your mind!
DOCTOR: How is that news to anyone?

"I am Yomin Carr, the harbinger of doom. I am the beginning of the end of your people!" -Yomin Carr

-Sometime later, the second mate was unexpectedly rescued by the subplot, which had been trailing a bit behind the boat (and the plot). The whole story moved along.

The Skarzs

I convinced the gas station to work out.

It pumps iron instead of fuel now.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Ripred the Gnawer

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
'We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they are inside of us'
"If you gaze long enough into the abyss, it'll gaze back at you"

Sebias of Redwall

"I can only speak two languages. English and rubbish." ~Brian Jacques

"No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly."

"Evil labours with vast power and perpetual success - in vain: preparing always only the soil for unexpected good to sprout in."

~JRR Tolkien

Long live the RRR!

Scott McLamok

"A knife, thrown just right, can accomplish wonderful things." -Cayde- 6

"I'm ready! How bout you?" - Emile-A239

"If you win you live. If you lose you die. If you don't fight, you can't win." – Eren Jaeger

"Keep your wits sharp and your blade sharper." – Mandalore the Destroyer

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Douglas MacArthur

This is the Way.

The Skarzs

Why didn't the poetry students like their teacher's grading methods?

Because he was too Thoreau.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Matthias720

A man stops at a small monastery for a meal. The monks treat him to a lovely plate of fish and chips. The man loves the meal so much, he insists on thanking the cook in person. When the cook who prepared his meal comes out of the kitchens, the man thanks him profusely for the delicious food. He asks the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" to which the cook replied, "No, I'm the chip monk."

Scott McLamok

"A knife, thrown just right, can accomplish wonderful things." -Cayde- 6

"I'm ready! How bout you?" - Emile-A239

"If you win you live. If you lose you die. If you don't fight, you can't win." – Eren Jaeger

"Keep your wits sharp and your blade sharper." – Mandalore the Destroyer

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Douglas MacArthur

This is the Way.