Redwall Abbey

Fan Works => Fan Fiction => Topic started by: Captain Tammo on October 27, 2015, 02:17:52 AM

Title: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on October 27, 2015, 02:17:52 AM
STORY OF THE WEEK: Funny Rhymes from Redwall (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=5834.0) by The Skarzs!

Hey everyone! If this is your first time here, then welcome to my review thread!

I've run this concept by some others and they all agreed that this could be a fun addition to the fan-fiction boards. This is my "critic thread". A critic thread is where you can post your reviews of other fanfictions all in one place! It is not meant to replace commenting on fanfictions themselves, but serve as a way where writers can come and ask for a formal review (and also get people reading your fan fiction without having to bump it yourself) In addition, I hope that this could help motivate people to write new material, or go back and update old works. Either or, this is not meant to be a stressful topic, so have some fun and feel free to leave a post if you'd like!

If you're newer to these parts of the forum, here's a little bit about me...

My name is Captain Tammo. I'm most known around here as the author of the "Simon" series-- a fanfiction trilogy that has been received pretty well here on the forum (check them out here: Part I (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4510.0), Part II (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6362.0), Part III (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7408.0)). I love reading what others have created and enjoy collaborating and working with other writers to help them produce the best content they can. I'm an older member of the forum (I joined when it was still only a few days old), so I've been able to see this community grow pretty big in a short timespan! I've also helped assemble some pretty cool events here and there, the most recent being the Redwall Abbey Forum Fanfiction Awards (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=8182.0), a contest that had the most submissions ever for a contest on these boards! And lastly, if you haven't guessed already, I spend most of my forum-time in the fan works section.

Here's the current format I'll be using for my review thread:

-----

Fanfiction (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?board=26.0) by _________.

Rating on my ultra-fancy scale:
Could use some work: ???
Almost, but not quite: :(
A solid fanfiction: :)
Would recommend: :D
One of my favorites: ;D

Brief paragraph of what I liked.

Brief paragraph of what I think could be made even better.

Final thoughts.

-----

I'm someone who really enjoys collaborating with writers on the forum and has done a lot of it, so this discussion thread can also serve as a place for you to come in and ask questions or work on anything.

Lastly, this type of thread is not limited to just me. So if you'd like to start your own, go for it, I'd love to compare reviews (and maybe partake in some friendly competition)!

Want to request a review? Leave a comment below!

Tammo is currently reading:

The Crimson Badger: Book I* (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6788438/1/The-Crimson-Badger-Book-I-The-Warlord) by Highwing (link is to fanfiction.net) - Progress: ~15%

Strangers at Redwall (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7099.0) by Jukka the Sling

*Fanfiction.net disclaimer: this site contains content that may not be suitable for young readers. The links posted on this thread will bring you to only the fanfiction being read, which will always be pre-screened by me.

Finished Reviews

Neither Seek Nor Shun The Fight by KitrallStreamrippler

Jackie's Story by Eulaliaaa!

Funny Rhymes from Redwall "Retold byy the Illustrious Skarzs Esquire"
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: CaptainRocktree on October 27, 2015, 02:21:47 AM
Ooo nice concept! I love the idea.  ;D I can't wait to see the reviews.  ;D
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Skyblade on October 29, 2015, 04:40:03 AM
This is an interesting and well-meant idea :)

I would do it, but I don't have any completed fanfics at the moment ;)
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on October 29, 2015, 08:54:57 AM
Could you review the first part of the Urthblood Saga?
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on October 29, 2015, 01:46:14 PM
Quote from: Skyblade on October 29, 2015, 04:40:03 AM
I would do it, but I don't have any completed fanfics at the moment ;)

Not a problem! I'm happy to post about the "works in progress" as many times as people ask. Those are what make up most of the fan fictions on the forum.

Quote from: Lord_Ashenwyte on October 29, 2015, 08:54:57 AM
Could you review the first part of the Urthblood Saga?

Sure, I'll get right on that!
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on November 01, 2015, 11:44:39 PM
First finished review! (The Crimson Badger is a very long story, so it will be a while still before that one is finished)

Here is the fanfiction I want to put in the "Fanfiction Spotlight" this week!

Neither Seek Nor Shun The Fight (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4010.0) by KitrallStreamrippler

Rating: :D  (would recommend)

What I Liked:
A well thought-out fan fiction! If you're one who enjoys riddles, this story is for you! The atmosphere that KitrallStreamrippler puts together is one that I felt touched on many of the classic Redwall ideas such as: riddles, food, songs, difficult predicaments, accented speech, and balanced characters. The story moved along nicely and never really felt stagnant in progression.

What I Thought Could be Even Better
As is with nearly all fan fictions, there are elements which the author and the reader may disagree upon. A word of advice for this one: pay attention! Just about all of the characters of the story are introduced in the beginning bits and it can become a little difficult to keep characters straight (I would suggest making a character chart). It is not until later in the story's progression that I feel I start getting to know the characters and differentiate between them.

In terms of grammar, this entry was relatively clean. There were some paragraphing errors that occurred quite a bit, but they were never enough to pull me away from the story or confuse me.

Final Thoughts
I am sad to see that this fan fiction was abandoned (the author has not been active for a couple of years). It certainly showed a great deal of promise! If anyone wants to get some practice writing a fan fiction, I would strongly urge you to try finishing this story!

All in all, a better-than-average fan fiction which deserves some love! You can check the story out Here (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4010.0). The commentary thread is here (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4166.0), though both topics have been inactive for a while, and many comments exist on the main thread.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Eulaliaaa! on November 02, 2015, 03:01:07 AM
Would you be willing to review a work in progress that's not related to Redwall? I've posted a Maximum Ride fan fiction in Secret Hideouts, and I'd love to hear what a fellow author thinks of it. I haven't really gone back much and fixed every little problem I see, but it's definitely better than the horrifying rough drafts I wrote a while back in the fan fiction section (They Weren't the Heroes We Wanted, and the first one isn't even worth mentioning :P). You can tell that third person isn't my favorite, I prefer to tell the story in first person.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on November 03, 2015, 02:23:59 AM
Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on November 02, 2015, 03:01:07 AM
Would you be willing to review a work in progress that's not related to Redwall? I've posted a Maximum Ride fan fiction in Secret Hideouts, and I'd love to hear what a fellow author thinks of it.

Sure! I have not read any of the Maximum Ride books so this should be fun!
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Eulaliaaa! on November 03, 2015, 04:34:49 AM
Thanks  :D it's only loosely connected to the Maximum Ride books, so there shouldn't be anything you would only understand if you had read the books. It's called Jackie's Story, about the RP character I created for Sky's Crossover RP.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Skyblade on November 03, 2015, 04:45:35 AM
Interesting things you've got set up here :)

I would very much appreciate a review on some scenes of my original book as well. I am in need of improvement.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Søren on November 03, 2015, 03:46:38 PM
I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Jukka the Sling on November 03, 2015, 05:25:40 PM
Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 03, 2015, 03:46:38 PM
I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?
*blushes awkwardly*
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: rachel25 on November 03, 2015, 06:06:54 PM
Yeah, that ones really good.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on November 03, 2015, 08:38:49 PM
Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 03, 2015, 03:46:38 PM
I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?

Sure! I was actually just about to do a re-read of that one to get all caught up!

Any other works while we're at it?
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: rachel25 on November 03, 2015, 11:31:38 PM
Are you just doing fanfictions? Cus if not Skarzs' poems are worth a review.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: The Skarzs on November 04, 2015, 02:45:39 AM
;^; You would do this. . . ?





I really should write another poem. . .
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: rachel25 on November 04, 2015, 06:03:11 PM
Good cus I love your poems.  ;D
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on November 10, 2015, 11:20:25 PM
After the Crimson Badger: Book I, could you do a review of the Outlander by SandyB?
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on November 11, 2015, 04:43:28 PM
Here is the fanfiction I want to put in the "Fanfiction Spotlight" this week!

Jackie's Story (Maximum Ride fan fiction) (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=8361.0) by Eulaliaaa!

Rating: :D  (would recommend)

What I Liked:
I have never read the Maximum Ride series before, but I think I'd like to start after reading this fan fiction! I feel that there are not many stories on the forum that do a good job with first person narrative (a character tells the story, referring to themself as "I"), but Eulaliaaa! has done a very nice job in making it work.

The plot as a whole progresses at a pace that I felt was right in the sweet spot: not to fast, nor too slow. Additionally, I found the plot to be very interesting! Nobody was overpowered and no scene seemed to build towards something anticlimactic. Great job all around!

What I Thought Could be Even Better
While Eulaliaaa! does a great job in keeping the reader involved with the story, I could not help but notice a couple of plot holes in the story. Reading the comments, it appeared that I was not the only one, either. Thankfully, no plot hole appeared to really take away from the story's flow, and it usually just opened things up for discussion.

Final Thoughts
A fun, relatively professional forum story! I would recommend this one to anybody who wants a break from the regular Redwall fan fiction, as well as anyone who wants to see how to write in first person. Well done, Eulaliaaa!

You can check this story out here (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=8361.0) in the Secret Hideouts section of the forum.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Eulaliaaa! on November 12, 2015, 03:31:17 AM
Wow, thank you for that  ;D I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read and review my story, it means a lot to me.
Title: Re: Reviews by Tammo
Post by: Captain Tammo on November 18, 2015, 06:13:39 AM
Apologies for not getting a review out this week! I'm in the middle of midterms at college, so I ask that you give me a couple of days to finish up with those. While I'm gone, I'd like to do a little survey:

yes or no: would you be okay with a reboot of the "favorite fan fiction" thread? If you'd like to elaborate on your thoughts, feel free!

See you guys in a couple of days!
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, polls, and reviews of your fan fiction!)
Post by: cairn destop on November 22, 2015, 03:50:07 AM
May I suggest a board or post that has a list / link to the material you review?  It might encourage comments.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, polls, and reviews of your fan fiction!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on December 31, 2015, 05:24:23 AM
Quote from: cairn destop on November 22, 2015, 03:50:07 AM
May I suggest a board or post that has a list / link to the material you review?  It might encourage comments.

Are you referring to what I have in the first post of this topic or something new?
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, polls, and reviews of your fan fiction!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on December 31, 2015, 06:18:20 AM
Here is the topic I want to put in the "Fanfiction Spotlight" this week!

Funny Rhymes from Redwall (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=5834.0) (told by the Illustrious Skarzs Esquire)

Rating: :)  (a solid collection of works)

What I Liked:
A series of fun (and sometimes sad) poems, which are all worth reading through. The rhymes are usually short, and all of them are different so you don't have to worry about getting tired out while reading them. A solid work, Skarzs!

What I Thought Could be Even Better
There is always room for improvement. I think a little extra time spent putting your all into each of these could have brought them up a notch, but I know that infinite time is not something we all have to work on that stuff. Sometimes something as small as a single word or restructuring a line can make all the difference in the end!

Final Thoughts
An all-around solid work that is constantly growing and easy to catch up on. You would not feel disappointed if you went and read a few!

You can check Skarzs' thread out Here (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=5834.0). Tell him this review sparked your interest ;)
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, polls, and reviews of your fan fiction!)
Post by: The Skarzs on December 31, 2015, 06:58:52 PM
Thanks for the review, Tammo! I want to do another poem soon.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on January 01, 2016, 04:13:24 PM
New Year, New Goals!

What are some of your New Year Resolutions? Whether it be Forum related or not! Here are a few forum-related things I am personally looking to see happen this year:


What are your goals for the new year?
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on October 10, 2017, 06:02:55 PM
Hey everyone,

There's an ENORMOUS forum-wide event coming soon. And one of the events on the list of activities is a fanfiction contest. Rules have yet to be set in stone but I'm hoping both existing and new entries will be accepted as submissions here. I for one will be writing something brand new for the contest! Although I have not yet narrowed down my choices to one prompt in particular. So thinking about that, I thought I'd get word out that something BIG was coming.

Here are some prompts I was thinking of working off of for an entry (feel free to take any for yourselves if you'd like, or let me know if you have a prompt you want to share)!


There you have it. More info on the contest will be coming soon! :)
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: The Skarzs on October 10, 2017, 08:34:43 PM
Excellent.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on October 10, 2017, 10:02:20 PM
Ah, fantastic! I can't wait to see what this event is. I look forward to participating in it!


(I'd best put my writer's cap on again *sigh*)
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Ashleg on October 10, 2017, 10:39:59 PM
Eentresting. I'll grab some popcorn and watch.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: The Skarzs on October 10, 2017, 10:42:04 PM
Join. Do it. Even if you don't think you'll win.
One contest we had I won not because I had the best story, but because I was THE ONLY ONE WHO COMPLETED ONE.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Maudie on October 10, 2017, 10:46:12 PM
Sounds exciting! Can't wait to hear more about it.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Ashleg on October 11, 2017, 12:05:31 AM
Quote from: The Skarzs on October 10, 2017, 10:42:04 PM
Join. Do it. Even if you don't think you'll win.
One contest we had I won not because I had the best story, but because I was THE ONLY ONE WHO COMPLETED ONE.

I'm not not doing it because I don't think I'll win, I'm not doing it because I'm already in Redwall Survivor and am occupied with other things.
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Captain Tammo on October 11, 2017, 06:12:22 AM
Quote from: Ashleg on October 11, 2017, 12:05:31 AM
Quote from: The Skarzs on October 10, 2017, 10:42:04 PM
Join. Do it. Even if you don't think you'll win.
One contest we had I won not because I had the best story, but because I was THE ONLY ONE WHO COMPLETED ONE.

I'm not not doing it because I don't think I'll win, I'm not doing it because I'm already in Redwall Survivor and am occupied with other things.

Well, if you've already got something on the forum in terms of a fanfic, the idea of submitting existing fanfics you've authored is currently being discussed, so that's an option too!
Title: Re: Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)
Post by: Ashleg on October 11, 2017, 06:33:33 PM
I RP but don't exactly write fanfics.