Corrupt-a-Wish

[Nadaz, voice of the host]

Granted but the game is published by paradox the same ones that fell on Grodill in remorse for grodill you never play a video game again

I wish I a had bucket of ferrofluid

[asmodeus]

The ferrofluid is mixed with hydrochloric acid and eats through the container it's in.

I wish that my wishes, including this one, will never go wrong.

[Nadaz, voice of the host]

They don't go wrong they just are never granted

I wish that I could teleport to Turkmenistan

[Ashleg]

You are teleported to a group of Turkish men named Stan.

I wish that I could go home.

[Nadaz, voice of the host]

Your home to a high school you go there and have to stay for infinity.

I wish Ireland had qualified for the World Cup.

[The Skarzs]

They did, but they got disqualified for eating the opposing teams.

I wish I didn't have facial hair.

[Ashleg]

You don't have facial hair because you do not have the ability to grow any hair at all.

I wish that I was a pirate!

[The Skarzs]

You are a pirate. Unfortunately, the price for being a pirate once caught is being hanged. And that is your fate.

You don't have facial hair because you do not have the ability to grow any hair at all.

YOU LOSE. I would like that.

I wish my feet didn't sweat.

[Ashleg]

Your feet don't sweat at all, but your hands sweat so profusely that waterfalls pour from them constantly and you cannot pick anything up without making it wet.

I wish I was a warlock!

[sunflashtheace]

okay you war your lock
i wish i was sunflash the mace

[Hickory]

Granted. Your friends and family are horrified at the sudden replacement of their once-human compatriot with an animal waving about a large oak branch and growling. After reporting the situation to the local police, the "special case" makes its way into the hands of the CIA, which deems you a threat to national security, and you are seized and imprisoned, but not before mauling numerous agents and receiving several high-voltage taser shocks. After your imprisonment and subsequent psych evaluations, it is confirmed that you are an intelligent European badger. Following extensive experimentation, you are euthanized after refusing to cooperate with the authorities.

I wish I was shorter.

[The Witessss]

you get so short you are put in the circus against your wishes as the short-man.

I wish I was more athletic.

[Tungro]

You are more athletic but you show off so much your teammates decide to take you down...permanently...

I wish I would not have to go through high school

[The Witessss]

Granted. you don't go through high school, but you live under  a bridge the rest of your life.

I wish I was having tacos for dinner.

[Tungro]

You do have tacos for dinner but right as when you are about to take a bite you are tackled by some people claiming it is poisoned.

I wish my WiFi would be more reliable