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The First World Problems Game

Started by Ashleg, December 18, 2017, 05:36:51 PM

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Ashleg

Someone posts a petty problem (for example, "My dad got me a white yacht but I wanted a red one,") and the person below them must make it into a real problem ("My dad got me a white yacht but I wanted a red one, so he threw me off it!")

I'll start:

I have too much food.  :(

Nadaz, voice of the host

but it's all poisoned and you can not find other food so you will either starve or be poisoned
It matters not what you fight, but what you fight for.

Ashleg

So dark. 8) You were supposed to post a problem too.

Oh well. I'll do it.

My cable is slow!

Delthion

That's because you're in a cable car. The cable has snapped, and you are plummeting to your doom.

This is Oban 14, I wanted Oban 21.
Dreams, dreams are untapped and writhing. How much more real are dreams than that paltry existence which we now call reality? How shall we ascend to that which humanity is destined? By mastering the dreamworld of course. That is how, my pupils, that is how.

Søren

Its actually sweet cider from Costco
There are too many drones in the sky!


I'm retired from the forum

Nadaz, voice of the host

they're military drones attacking you for no reason
my Christmas tree is to tall
It matters not what you fight, but what you fight for.

Ashleg

And it's so tall it broke through the roof of your house.

My carpet has a stain on it.

Delthion

That stain is an impervious flesh-eating bacteria, and you just stepped on the stain...

My computer is too slow.
Dreams, dreams are untapped and writhing. How much more real are dreams than that paltry existence which we now call reality? How shall we ascend to that which humanity is destined? By mastering the dreamworld of course. That is how, my pupils, that is how.

Ashleg

The computer has important financial information on the screen, and everyone who walks past can see it.

My dog smells bad! :(

Nadaz, voice of the host

Because he has toxic chemicals in a vial in his mouth and now you have been exposed to them and you will die, don't worry your dog is not harmed
It matters not what you fight, but what you fight for.

Ashleg


Nadaz, voice of the host

I can't think of a new year resolution
It matters not what you fight, but what you fight for.

Ashleg

The reason you can't think of a New Years' Resolution is because you don't have a brain, and therefore can't think of anything at all!

I got a gift card to a store I don't like.

Delthion

Ninja'd

The reason that you can't think of a New Years Resolution is that you are undergoing a brain transplant.

I am grossed out by retainers.

The reason you dislike the store is because they are going to sell your body parts.
Dreams, dreams are untapped and writhing. How much more real are dreams than that paltry existence which we now call reality? How shall we ascend to that which humanity is destined? By mastering the dreamworld of course. That is how, my pupils, that is how.

asmodeus

...Because retainers can control what you say remotely and inhibit freedom of speech.

I don't like broccoli
I use arch btw.