Tammo's Topic (discussion, questions, and reviews of your fanfic!)

Started by Captain Tammo, October 27, 2015, 02:17:52 AM

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Captain Tammo

STORY OF THE WEEK: Funny Rhymes from Redwall by The Skarzs!

Hey everyone! If this is your first time here, then welcome to my review thread!

I've run this concept by some others and they all agreed that this could be a fun addition to the fan-fiction boards. This is my "critic thread". A critic thread is where you can post your reviews of other fanfictions all in one place! It is not meant to replace commenting on fanfictions themselves, but serve as a way where writers can come and ask for a formal review (and also get people reading your fan fiction without having to bump it yourself) In addition, I hope that this could help motivate people to write new material, or go back and update old works. Either or, this is not meant to be a stressful topic, so have some fun and feel free to leave a post if you'd like!

If you're newer to these parts of the forum, here's a little bit about me...

My name is Captain Tammo. I'm most known around here as the author of the "Simon" series-- a fanfiction trilogy that has been received pretty well here on the forum (check them out here: Part I, Part II, Part III). I love reading what others have created and enjoy collaborating and working with other writers to help them produce the best content they can. I'm an older member of the forum (I joined when it was still only a few days old), so I've been able to see this community grow pretty big in a short timespan! I've also helped assemble some pretty cool events here and there, the most recent being the Redwall Abbey Forum Fanfiction Awards, a contest that had the most submissions ever for a contest on these boards! And lastly, if you haven't guessed already, I spend most of my forum-time in the fan works section.

Here's the current format I'll be using for my review thread:

-----

Fanfiction by _________.

Rating on my ultra-fancy scale:
Could use some work: ???
Almost, but not quite: :(
A solid fanfiction: :)
Would recommend: :D
One of my favorites: ;D

Brief paragraph of what I liked.

Brief paragraph of what I think could be made even better.

Final thoughts.

-----

I'm someone who really enjoys collaborating with writers on the forum and has done a lot of it, so this discussion thread can also serve as a place for you to come in and ask questions or work on anything.

Lastly, this type of thread is not limited to just me. So if you'd like to start your own, go for it, I'd love to compare reviews (and maybe partake in some friendly competition)!

Want to request a review? Leave a comment below!

Tammo is currently reading:

The Crimson Badger: Book I* by Highwing (link is to fanfiction.net) - Progress: ~15%

Strangers at Redwall by Jukka the Sling

*Fanfiction.net disclaimer: this site contains content that may not be suitable for young readers. The links posted on this thread will bring you to only the fanfiction being read, which will always be pre-screened by me.

Finished Reviews

Neither Seek Nor Shun The Fight by KitrallStreamrippler

Jackie's Story by Eulaliaaa!

Funny Rhymes from Redwall "Retold byy the Illustrious Skarzs Esquire"
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

CaptainRocktree

Ooo nice concept! I love the idea.  ;D I can't wait to see the reviews.  ;D
Not all those who wander are lost.
J.R.R Tolkien

Skyblade

This is an interesting and well-meant idea :)

I would do it, but I don't have any completed fanfics at the moment ;)

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

Lady Ashenwyte

Could you review the first part of the Urthblood Saga?
The fastest way to a man's heart- Or anyone's, in fact- Is to tear a hole through their chest.

Indeed. You are as ancient as the soot that choked Pompeii into oblivion, though not quite as uncaring. - Rusvul

Just a butterfly struggling through my chrysalis.

Captain Tammo

#4
Quote from: Skyblade on October 29, 2015, 04:40:03 AM
I would do it, but I don't have any completed fanfics at the moment ;)

Not a problem! I'm happy to post about the "works in progress" as many times as people ask. Those are what make up most of the fan fictions on the forum.

Quote from: Lord_Ashenwyte on October 29, 2015, 08:54:57 AM
Could you review the first part of the Urthblood Saga?

Sure, I'll get right on that!
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

Captain Tammo

First finished review! (The Crimson Badger is a very long story, so it will be a while still before that one is finished)

Here is the fanfiction I want to put in the "Fanfiction Spotlight" this week!

Neither Seek Nor Shun The Fight by KitrallStreamrippler

Rating: :D  (would recommend)

What I Liked:
A well thought-out fan fiction! If you're one who enjoys riddles, this story is for you! The atmosphere that KitrallStreamrippler puts together is one that I felt touched on many of the classic Redwall ideas such as: riddles, food, songs, difficult predicaments, accented speech, and balanced characters. The story moved along nicely and never really felt stagnant in progression.

What I Thought Could be Even Better
As is with nearly all fan fictions, there are elements which the author and the reader may disagree upon. A word of advice for this one: pay attention! Just about all of the characters of the story are introduced in the beginning bits and it can become a little difficult to keep characters straight (I would suggest making a character chart). It is not until later in the story's progression that I feel I start getting to know the characters and differentiate between them.

In terms of grammar, this entry was relatively clean. There were some paragraphing errors that occurred quite a bit, but they were never enough to pull me away from the story or confuse me.

Final Thoughts
I am sad to see that this fan fiction was abandoned (the author has not been active for a couple of years). It certainly showed a great deal of promise! If anyone wants to get some practice writing a fan fiction, I would strongly urge you to try finishing this story!

All in all, a better-than-average fan fiction which deserves some love! You can check the story out Here. The commentary thread is here, though both topics have been inactive for a while, and many comments exist on the main thread.
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

Eulaliaaa!

Would you be willing to review a work in progress that's not related to Redwall? I've posted a Maximum Ride fan fiction in Secret Hideouts, and I'd love to hear what a fellow author thinks of it. I haven't really gone back much and fixed every little problem I see, but it's definitely better than the horrifying rough drafts I wrote a while back in the fan fiction section (They Weren't the Heroes We Wanted, and the first one isn't even worth mentioning :P). You can tell that third person isn't my favorite, I prefer to tell the story in first person.
Just pretend there is something interesting and unique written here... I have nothing to say.

Captain Tammo

Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on November 02, 2015, 03:01:07 AM
Would you be willing to review a work in progress that's not related to Redwall? I've posted a Maximum Ride fan fiction in Secret Hideouts, and I'd love to hear what a fellow author thinks of it.

Sure! I have not read any of the Maximum Ride books so this should be fun!
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

Eulaliaaa!

Thanks  :D it's only loosely connected to the Maximum Ride books, so there shouldn't be anything you would only understand if you had read the books. It's called Jackie's Story, about the RP character I created for Sky's Crossover RP.
Just pretend there is something interesting and unique written here... I have nothing to say.

Skyblade

Interesting things you've got set up here :)

I would very much appreciate a review on some scenes of my original book as well. I am in need of improvement.

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

Søren

I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?


I'm retired from the forum

Jukka the Sling

Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 03, 2015, 03:46:38 PM
I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?
*blushes awkwardly*
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." ~J.R.R. Tolkien


Captain Tammo

Quote from: Soren the Warrior on November 03, 2015, 03:46:38 PM
I'm not sure it needs much reviewing, it's so popular, but what do you think of Strangers at Redwall?

Sure! I was actually just about to do a re-read of that one to get all caught up!

Any other works while we're at it?
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

rachel25

Are you just doing fanfictions? Cus if not Skarzs' poems are worth a review.