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My Forum FanFic

Started by Søren, April 27, 2016, 01:24:52 AM

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Søren

So, I've had this idea for a fanfic for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it this time.
You're likely to notice that it is heavily based off of recent events. ::)
Criticize if you must, but I have to warn you, it will fall on deff ears. It is how it is.
Regardless of your opinion of mine, make sure to check out my man @Gonff the Mousethief's fanfic (it's super awesome) here:

http://www.loamhedgeabbey.com/index.php/topic,427.0.html

________


The morning sun shown brightly upon Redwall Abbey. It was a good day, a fresh day. And the building was abuzz with excitement. A special feast was to be held, for a long lost friend had been returned to them.

A mouse sat up in his bed, ready to join the others in the Great Hall. He was to lead them to the main table, and sit across the guest of honor. He shoved his feet into his boots, and walked out the door. Matthias was ready.

This was not the Matthias of old. Not the one of legend, but a namesake. There had been many mice who had taken up the name. This particular moused happened to be the 720nd to bear it. (It was very popular)

As the members of the Abbey rushed to their seats, two mice, Delthion and Søren, opened the doors. The eagle James Gryphon walked in, greeted by all. Matthias approached James, and embraced him. "We're all so glad to see you, old friend!" "It's good to be home" said James. The evening was set to be a triumph. If only their lives would have stayed that way.

The following morning, Matthias rose to wash his face. As he lifted his head and looked into the mirror, he stepped back, startled. The mirror had words on it. Random series of numbers, letters, and the word "depreciated" we're scrawled across the mirror. He called for help.

"Now that is interesting." Said Skyblade as she examined the mirror. Sky was part of a group of leading scientific residents at the Abbey. Groddil, another one of her team, tried to scrape the words of the mirror. But they wouldn't come off. It was as if it was permanently etched into the glass. "Let's bring the mirror down to the laboratory." Said Sky, as Ashenwyte and Gonff lifted the it off the wall.

A hare named Sagetip came running up to Matthias. "Matthias, we're getting reports of this all across the Abbey. We're moving all the effected items to the laboratory." "Just what items are effected?" Asked the mouse. "All sorts of things, paper, glass, it even is scribed into the walls of the Great Hall!" Matthias turned to the cat Rainshadow, who stood beside him. "We need to have an emergency meeting of the council. Now."

"What could be causing this?" Asked Leatho Shellhound, an otter member of the council. "The science team is still unclear on that, but whatever it is, it's not from vermin." Said Tammo, a hare. "What do you think James?" James, who had just returned to his once vacant seat on the council, stirred slightly. "I'm worried as to the effect these will have on to ones who live here, I mean..." "Forgive me, but I have news!" Said Sagetip, as he came running into the council chamber. "Jet is sick, you need to see this."

The council members huddled into the infirmary, which was buzzing with commotion. "Keep him down, and find we a sedative!" Said Banya, the doctor in charge. Jet the cat was flaying about on a exam table, swinging his arms violently and seizing. The medical staff, which included Søren, a pine martin named Ashleg, and a squirrel named Tam tried to hold down the giant cat. They tied him using wrist restraints. Matthias stood close to him as Jet chanted, over and over again, "Depreciated...depreciated...depreciated!" A look of both horror and shock was on the faces of everyone present. "Like the mirror, and all the other places." "That's it!" Said Banya, frustrated with her patient. She drove a long needle into the cats chest, and he stop seizing, and fell to unconsciousness. "I'll keep him sedated for as long as I can, but we..." She was interrupted by her own terror. The ground underneath Jet's bed turned to black, and then, in an instant, Jet was gone. He fell through the hole in the ground, now left with bright blue edges surrounding the black void. "RUN!" Yelled Rain, and everyone in the infirmary ran for their lives.

The black hole in the infirmary slowly grew every minute. After 3 hours of much debate and panic throughout the Abbey, it had all but overtaken the entire infirmary. Several more black holes had appeared, now occupying the orchard and Cavern Hole. The decision had been made by the council to evacuate Redwall.

Søren was playing the part of the third wheel this afternoon. He was supposed to be helping load a wagon full of food with Delthion and Jukka, but their constant flirting meant he was doing most of the work. The pair butted heads as they attempted to pick up the same box, and started to laugh and grin at each other. They ignored Søren as he lifted the box by himself. He was annoyed by the PDA, but also jealous. He own girlfriend was traveling, which was probably for the best. The madness at the Abbey was something no one needed to experience. As the trio worked, they suddenly felt a gush of wind, and then another. Delthion looked up, and gasped at the sight. Black holes, huge ones, appeared in the sky. They were consuming everything, and everyone. The residents of the Abbey struggled to grab ahold of anything to keep themselves grounded. Soren grabbed the closest tree, Delthion and Jukka grabbed each other, but to no avail. All three were sucked into the black vortex, separate from the rest.

Delthion awoke, feeling cold. It was dark, wherever he was. He stood, and tried to assess his situation. There was a faint, pale blue light several feet infront of him. He looked down, and was surprised to see he was wearing only a black wet suit. Or was it a wet suit? Whatever it was, we had never seen it before, yet he was now wearing it. He stepped forward, and a disk appeared before him. About a foot in diameter, and colored deep black with blue highlighting lines, it simply floated before his face. Instinctively, he reached out his paw to touch it. As he held it, an echoing voice filled the room. "Your disk is your life. Protect it, and use it. Remain whole." A rod, similarly fashioned, appeared where the disk once was. "Your rod is your tool. Protect it, and use it. Remain whole." As Del stood, unsure what to do with these items, a doorway appeared. What seemed like runway lights pulsed into the doorway, beckoning him to go through it. He started to walk forward. The ground below him gave way, sending him down a glass tube, falling to a destination he couldn't see.

Delthion landed with a sharp thud in a larger chamber of some sort. As he laid on his back, stunned and confused, he opened his eyes to see Jukka looking down on him, relief in her eyes. "Del, are you ok?" She asked. Before he could answer, Søren came billowing down another glass tube. As he stood up, the trio made sure that they were all ok. "Where are we?" Asked Del. They noticed that each of them had a disk and a rod, and all three were dressed similarly. Søren took in his surroundings, and suddenly spoke, shaking his items. "Duh! Guys, I know what these are for! It's Tron!" He turned to his companions, and they looked at him, puzzled. "You know, Tron, the movies!" He said again, unsure about why they did not understand. "...what is a movie?" Asked Jukka. Søren tried to answer, but he realized he didn't know what a movie was. Or how he knew about specific ones. Yet, he remembered the Tron story. "I...I don't know. I don't know, I just remember a story. And how to use these." He said, holding the disk and rod. He clipped the rod onto the belt he had just realized he had. The other two did as well. Søren held his disk, and pressed a small button on the inner seem. It made a steady electronically humming noise, and seemed to pulsate slightly, now shining bright blue and black.  He felt it weight, pressed the button again, and put the disk on his back. It clipped onto a grove in his suit between his shoulder blades. "See? It's cool." He said.

Now feeling equipped, the trio looked out at their surroundings. The room they were in had a large window, to which they looked through. Apparently, they were at the Peak of a rather large precipice, and could overlook ones of the strangest sights they'd ever seen. The world the black and busy. The buildings and structures were outlined by neon blue or white. Vehicles buzzed about, and pipe-like cylinders ran through the entire civilization. They weren't sure what they were looking at, but it was intriguing.

As Søren, Jukka and Delthion looked over the city, they heard a noise from behind them. A black hole appeared, but this time, instead of sucking them in, it spirt something out. A figure rose, and turned to face them. This was no ordinary person, but it seemed to be a machine. The three had not had much exposure to machines beyond simple ones, and were dumbfounded as to think of what this creature was. It stood at their height, was a brownish color, and seemed to carry and sword and projectile weapon of some sort. It's said words in a language the grounp did not under stand. It then drew it's sword and launched itself at Delthion. Tacking him, it reached for the sword. "Get it off me!" He yelled, terrified. Jukka slammed into the android, and delivered a strong right punch. To a metal face. "OWWWW!!" She cried, fairly certain she had broken something. The android shoved her down and drew his sword. As the robot reared back to kill Jukka, a blue disk sliced through him, and his body slumped. Søren caught his disk as it came back to him. "I told you it was cool." He said.

"What was that?"  Asked Jukka. "I don't know, but we should probably leave!" Said Delthion as more black holes opened, dispensing the androids. "Where can we go?!" Said Jukka, fair creeping into her voice. Søren took his rod in his hand, and extended his arm out. The rod seemed to expand, and form into what could only be described as a motor cycle, styled just as they were dressed. He climbed onto it, and attempted to drive forward. Having no experience with transportation beyond wagons, he had no idea what to do. But something in the back of his mind seemed to guide him. He wheeled the light cycle forward slightly, then back again. Delthion and Jukka followed his lead, and climbed onto their own light cycles. "How do we drive this thing?!" Said Delthion as several android started to close on them. "Does it matter?! Just go!" Yelled Jukka, and the trio lurched forward on their bikes. There was nowhere to go, except through the window. They speed forward, still unsure on how to operate the vehicle. They flicked their wrists, and that seemed to make it go faster. The three raced straight for the window, and smashed through it, over the gorge, and onto the other side.

The three friends hit the ground hard, nearly losing control of their bikes. But they had got the hang of driving, and felt a little more comfortable. "What do we do now?" Yelled Jukka as they speed towards the city in the distance. "We need help, so we should be able to find some by that city. I think it's our only shot!" Said Delthion. They weren't sure what they were going to find when they reached the city, but they were going to find out.

Søren, Del and Jukka had been riding around for some time, and they started to near the city. The trio reached a three-way fork in the road. Each leading off into different directions. They stared ahead blankly. "...should we split up?" Asked Søren. "We need to stick together, but which way do we choose?" Said Del. Jukka, who had remained silent, suddenly had an inclination. "This way". She said, pointed to the right. "I don't know why, I just know, that's the way we go." Del looked to the left path, which seemed brighter, and closer to civilization. "I think we should go this way, that way is too dark." He said. "How about we spilt up, and in ten minutes, we return right here. Then we decide where to go."

Jukka drove her lightcycle down the path, unsure of where she was. She thought for a moment. "How many minutes did he say?" She asked herself. While she was distracted, she didn't realize that she suddenly slipped off the path. She struggled to maintain control of the bike, and crashed. As she tumbled someone caught her. She looked up at Gonff. "Gonff! What are you doing here, what's going..." "No time to explain, come on!"

Matthias stood amongst a crowd of Redwallers. They were bickering and arguing in confusing over their new surroundings. They took refuge in a cave, if you could call it that. It was more like a large outcropping of metal and glass, perfectly formed into a dome. Someone had spent great time on it, and then abandoned it. Ashleg shouted "Gonff is back! With Jukka!" The crowd huddled around the arrivals, rapidly asking questions. Jukka was in a daze as she was brought to Matthias. "Jukka! It's so good to see you! We thought we had lost you!" Jukka asked "Where's Søren and Del? Have you found them?" Matthias shook his head. "We're doing everything we can. But it's hard, we have no idea where we are! This is all so strange..." "Søren knew something about it, he showed me how to use these!" She pulled on her disk and it lit up with a hum. The others stood back, grasping at their own disks. As the fiddled with them, Jukka went about quickly instructing her friends on how to operate the disks.

Skyblade had been doing quite a lot of thinking that day. The badger was sweet to everyone, with a good heart, and always helping. She had found seclusion on a very high point, where she could sit and observe everything for what seemed like miles. Normally, she would be relaxed. But in this instance, she was confused. Being ripped from her home, thrown into this odd reality. What was all of this about? She started to hum. The song was slow, and gentle. But not one she had heard before. Yet, she knew every note, every rise and fall of the music. How did she know this? Where did it come from? She suddenly had an epiphany. Each Redwaller knew something that they didn't before. Something in the back of their mind was present, yet they never learned it. Perhaps it was a part of them. Perhaps there was a reality in which she was a musician, Eul an author, Gonff a poet, a reality in which they weren't Redwallers. But something else. Perhaps this was the corridor of realities. As she looked out, she could see things in the distance, things she's never seen yet recognized. Symbols, in what she didn't realize was binary code, riddled the sky. She could see things, documents, images, sounds, information. She realized they were trapped in a net, a web of space full of different realities. Skyblade looked out into the distance, and one single question lingered in her mind: "How do we get home?"


I'm retired from the forum

Cornflower MM

Niiiice, Sor! I can't say I'm familiar with what's goin' on, but this is cool.

The Skarzs

Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Søren

@Cornflower MM Thanks! It'll become clearer soon. ;)
@Skarzs Yeah. ( ;D )


I'm retired from the forum

Gonff the Mousethief

Søren mah man! This is amazing! I jsut love the parts when the whole Abbey is getting swallowed up, yet Del and Jukka are flirting. Or when you yell, "It's Tron!" Oh, those parts were gold! My favorite part though is the ending. With Sky slowly discovering that maybe we aren't jst people at Redwall after all was eloquently crafted. Your's will surely rival mine! (Oh, and I love my part as being a scientist/Jukka saver/Poet   :D)
I want the world of Tolkien,
The message of Lewis;
The adventure of Jacques,
And the heart of Milne.
But I want the originality of me.



Jukka the Sling

I laughed so hard several times, especially at the part where Del and I bumped heads and giggled stupidly and then grabbed each other to no avail as the portal opened. ;D  And I'm rather flattered that I seem to have a large role in this so far. :)

Ooh.  So we each know something about our selves from the real world?  Freeeaaky.  (And yes, the space in 'our selves' was intentional.)
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Lady Amber


Russa Nodrey

This is great. The part with Juk and Del flirting is hilarious. ;D
Freddy

Skyblade

#8
Soren, this is amazing! Honestly, I'm captivated by the plot so far, and I'm looking forward to the next installment.

There were some funny parts, too.

In case you care, there is a formatting error, though.
"Now that is interesting." Said Skyblade as she examined the mirror.
should be:
"Now that is interesting," said Skyblade as she examined the mirror.
Dialogue tags are lowercase, and the punctuation should be a comma instead of a period :) You can change that if you care about writing style that much; otherwise, do what you please.

Also, I'm not sure if that last paragraph was a compliment, but either way, I really liked it :D Thank you, Soren :)

I'm glad I read it. Thank you for the thoughtfulness that went behind this :)

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

Søren

New chapter!

______



High in the air, a figure stood on a huge platform overlooking the dark, glassy world. As it stood and felt the cold air, an android approached. "Sir, stage one is nearing completion. The Pirate Bay will be yours by the evening." The figure replied with silence. "...and the initial projections for your search engine plan look promising." The figure again supplied silence. Finally, it spoke, in a deep booming voice "That does not interest me. What does interest me is how a group of people have determined the reality of our realm. This cannot go on." He paused, and took a breath. "They must be destroyed. Find them. Bring them to me."

Matthias overlooked the crowd of Redwallers. Scared, vulnerable, they were all an unfortunate group. He started to think about their situation. "We have no idea where we are, but we need to keep moving incase the beasts that attacked Jukka come..." as soon as he finished his thought, he saw something horrific. A black circle appeared in their midsts, and metal warriors came pouring out of it. The Redwallers shrieked and fled, but that was not enough for some. Sagetip, the agile hare, while trying to push others to safety felt the cold unrelenting grip on his shoulder. He blinked and had been flung through the air and into the portal. Tagg, the former Abbey warrior tried to escape the grasp of another metal arm, but the android dragged him down and into the portal. Matthias had one instinct: to protect. He reached for his disk as Jukka had shown them. He liked playing frisbee. How different could this be? He held it in his right hand and swung it towards the nearest android. The blade of his disk severed the droid's head. He felt he had the hang of it, then threw his disk at another machine. This time to warrior's disk went through the android. Some of the others caught on to what Matthias was doing, and could see he was overwhelmed. Gonff bared his disk and sliced a droid leg. Jukka brandished her disk, and used her rod like a saber of light. She sliced through androids as the invading group closed in on the fighting trio. Suddenly, a lightcycle pummeled a large group of the droids. Skarzs sat on it, shouted to the three: "Let's move, we can't afford to stay here!" The group scampered from the scene of the fight, with most Redwallers now running far and fast.

As the group headed away from their attackers, in no particular direction, Skyblade kept feeling a sensation. She felt drawn somewhere, but she wasn't sure where. She knew that the path the group was on was in the wrong direction. The group stopped to rest and get their bearings. Sky was tired, her muscles ached from the continuous strain of running and fighting. They still had no idea as to where they were! She calmed herself. Taking steady breaths, she focused on her situation. The world hushed as she thought inwardly, visualizing herself. "We need help" she thought.

Skyblade felt the temperature around her drop. She opened her eyes to see her friends, staring at the sky. An object hung in the air, seemingly suspended on nothing. A beam of light struck the ground nearby, and a form stepped out. A large cat approached the group.  She had a scowl across her face, and a stern look to her eye. Her intimidating stare bore into Matthias, who stood at the lead of the group. It spoke, in a surprising soft and feminine voice. "I am Tarter Sauce, magistrate of this server. Who are you?" The group stood silent. This was the first time anyone from this strange place spoke to them. Tarter Sauce fidgeted in irritation. "As magistrate of this server I order you to state your name and IP address!" The group seemed to blink collectively. "I am Matthias, warrior and guardian of Redwall Abbey." "Ok, 'Matthias', what is your IP address and server of origin?" "What is an IP address?" He asked. Tarter Sauce learned forward and took Matthias disk. She arrived it and viewed what hologram  displayed to her. "Fascinating. You really have no idea where you are. Come, come on board my ship before the Trojans find you. You must have lots of questions."

As the group stood inside the ship, they quickly realized something. The crew was comprised totally of cats. Cats with spectacles, cats with wigs, cats in boxes and cats with their tongues sticking out. "What is this place?" Asked Jukka to Tarter Sauce. "We are the Memes. This server is a peaceful one, and we'd like to keep it that way." Skyblade suddenly blurted out "We aren't real, are we? None of this is real." Tarter Sauce looked at her intently. Although she was known as the Grumpy Cat, her face seemed to soften. "You're correct. In part. All will be explained to you. For know, enjoy your stay here." "Where exactly is... Here?" Asked Gonff. Tarter Sauce replied: "This is the Internet."


I'm retired from the forum

Hickory

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Gonff the Mousethief

SOREN!! This is amazing! That last paragraph was just too much! I love how there is a sense of humor in your fan fiction, where mine is turning into a horror flick. Can't wait to read more!
I want the world of Tolkien,
The message of Lewis;
The adventure of Jacques,
And the heart of Milne.
But I want the originality of me.



The Skarzs

Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Søren

@Sagetip Doot
@Gonff Thanks man! I wish it was as long as yours, but thanks!
@Skarzs ;D


I'm retired from the forum

Jukka the Sling

The internet!  Wow, that's a twist I wasn't expecting.  I love this!  Please write more soon!
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." ~J.R.R. Tolkien